Prisoner Of My Own Mind

I used to be happy. Positive even. I could brush off the bad things and look at the silver linings. It might have been that I was too young to care or too foolish to see the reality of things. Now, it’s like all I ever see is the pessimistic side of everything. Even when things are great I’m always thinking of worst-case scenarios. The big “what if..?” Sounds stupid. Maybe it’s just my anxiety increasing like a massive wave about to crash down on me. I’m just an ant drowning in a pool of water that are my emotions. No one will ever understand.

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I HATE LOVE…

Amazing poem bringing a whole new perspective on love

madrogerexists

I hate Love.
Years ago, my impression to people who were in love are
too weak,
and way too dumb.
When the Lord showered ignorance, they were sunbathing.
And my own definition of love is just a sign of weakness, dependency, and an illusion.
Maybe because that’s what the world showed me.
Love will only bring sorrows, series of heartbreaks, confusion, and destruction.
I was too afraid to feel it. So afraid that I never had a strong attachment.
I’m always alone and I thought that it’s a sign of strength.

But no. I was wrong.

As the time goes by,
I feel like being alone gave me endless sorrows, series of heartbreaks, and confusion.
And then I wondered, why do I feel these things when all I did is to avoid love?

So, I tried to find love.
I tried so hard.
I flew so high in my Nirvana…

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A little about me

So I have been thinking about writing a blog for a while now just because having a physical journal always seems to raise questions. My life itself is a paradox. I have a lot of personal & emotional issues which I will probably end up talking about later on. However, I won’t just be talking about that, I’ll also be talking about my day to day, the books I read (I might even ask for recommendations), the movies and shows that I watch, and my babies of course (I’m a dog mom). So I hope you stick with me!❤️